Wives Who Contribute To Finances in the Home Shares How They Feel About Their Husbands (PART 2)

7. Interesting story. Please read to the end.

This thing is not for the faint hearted women because someone needs to be more cautious of actions and utterances if found in such situation. Because we women can be something else sometimes. Things someone will do or say sometimes when not supporting with finances and there won’t be issues could be seen as a sign of disrespect if you partake in home finances.

In my own case, I got a job in another state before we got married while he was doing his teaching job and home lessons. When I resumed and had access to credible information that in the next 3-4 months there will be need for another set of recruitment, lowkey I was hoping for the best for my fiancé cause there’s no way that I won’t secure a slot for him. We started planning our married life, unfortunately before we could blink eye, power changed hand but there was certainty that employment will still occur but never happened that year.

When our Nikkah date got closer he said living in different state at our early marriage will affect us most especially because of his own financial instability, so he decided to relocate with me. I was happy and I agreed cause my man is not lazy and he is good at this teaching of a thing and highly intelligent so no cause for alarm, with the hope that teaching job will be for a while before the next employment happens at my place of work. The school he was working were paying less than 25k and the major home lessons he had which was 40k were already complaining to his face that they want to stop the following month, whereby he got it through an agency. So he said before this people will shock him let him find his way.

Few months after he left, those parents complained to the agency to help them return him because new ones were not doing it better. We began our life together whereby my salary is the major determinant. He teaches in a school and does home lessons too. But now man doesn’t take anyhow lessons, you must be ready to pay him well because you definitely want the best for your child(ren). Things are now changing gradually for us in terms of finances, we plan ahead of every of our expenses and I’m happy he can take up some finance responsibility without me adding a dime. When I was to resume from my maternity leave, he was very concerned about my office dresses as I don expand pass most of my clothes and he gave me money to buy. Seriously, I was happy and I am still happy about that. For the disrespect part, I don’t “intentionally” disrespect him. But you know women can be witches sometimes and I don’t give room for anyone to disrespect him for me, not even relatives that were aware of his relocation.

The cheating part, I can’t, I detest any woman that cheats. I will rather remain celibate or single than engaging in promiscuity.

8. She provides for almost everything and even bought two cars for him.

My aunt is the one that finance practically everything in their home. Even the car that the husband drives, she bought it with her money, she doesn’t even use it to go to work cause she follows office bus, but you need to see the way she calls her husband beautiful names like Honey, Darling!!! Sweetheart!! I have stayed with them several times, never have I seen her talk anyhow to that man.

Funny thing is this he select food a lot! No red meat, only fish and chicken and there is peace in their home. I think any woman that talks anyhow to her husband cause of the money she brings home is based on the fact that the man has given her the impression that he can provide and she finds out that he can’t provide.

9. I really love this story

My husband is a medical doctor and I am dental therapist. I graduated before him in school. We were managing our selves with the little he could afford at that time.

He graduated and started working with state government. His salary wasn’t coming often so I decided to work at this point because he never wanted me to work. I started working in 2017 in a federal hospital, my salary was enough to take care of the family (the kids and our bills) but my husband wasn’t secured because a time came his salary didn’t come for 6months. He wasn’t happy but in all I didn’t see it as an avenue to insult him or disrespect him. The moment I receive my salary, I would transfer the money into his account. He was the one bringing out money for our expenditures, even when I needed to send money to my parents he would be the one to do so with his account number. I came from a family that the only language they understand is money and I am the first daughter of my parents. I had to try my best not to mess things up, to the extent that I never told my parents how much I’m being paid because if they know it will spoil my marriage. Those of us from Imo state know what it means to be a first daughter and earning salary as well. My husband and I so into each other that being sincere in everything we do was the order of the. My family didn’t have any knowledge of his financial problems. When I gave birth to my third child, it was my husband that gave my mum the money for omugor. I only gave her 10k so she doesn’t suspect anything and it was a plan between my husband and I. That was how we were doing it but there was something my husband was doing at that time that I wasn’t comfortable with. He will enter the kitchen and wash the dishes, even mop the house. No matter how I try to stop him he would not stop, until he came to Lagos and started working in a good hospital, he said I should quit my job and join him in Lagos. I had to because as far as my marriage is concerned, I choose him first before any other thing. Now I am not working, he treat me like a queen, he gave me access to his finances and I don’t have any other choice than to treat him as my king. Even when I was working I never thought of cheating on him. I am not angry at all that he said I should stop working because of the kids upbringing. Though I missed working but I had to put it behind for peace and love to reign.

10. Last one for now. Thank you for reading.

We started dating a long time before we got married (over 9yrs), I never asked for money from him. Why would I when he was a student like me? Do I expect him to steal or share his allowance with me? I even borrowed money once from him and paid him back as I promised. He wasn’t happy and I asked him if he was my father. I believed parents are responsible for their daughters till they start earning and/or get married.

Even when we started working, we shared gifts a few times. I grew up with the mentality that in marriage, the man is the head and the woman, help-meet. Also, if one is working, why not help with bills?

For me, it doesn’t matter who pays any bill as long as the bill is cleared and the other appreciates. He is human too, I want him to live long. But lately, stress is messing me up due to work, further education and it’s expenses, children, no house help (never had one), still helping with the bills. I started complaining bitterly. Thank God for home training, beliefs, faith, understanding, family values, principles and communication. Maybe, I would have started disrespecting him, because the devil whispers sometimes. Also, I had to appreciate the things he does. He is generally a kind person. He protects us jealously. If you want his trouble, say rubbish about his family, and so many. Cheating is never in my agenda.

I understand I’m human but I value my body a lot. For me, it is a disgraceful, disrespectful and disgusting venture.