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After dating since 2020, she never knew he was married. He even wanted to meet with her father to marry her.
I’m sharing this because I was able to talk to my dad this morning. I recently found out my fiancé was/is married.
We started talking 2020 and started dating December 2021 last year. Before we started dating, he wasn’t in the same state with me. After we started dating, he moved down
here. My dad loves me so much and vice versa. He noticed how close my dad and I are and said he wanted to meet him (this is after about 3 months of dating). My dad is a very simple and understanding person, he’ll only go mad when you do anything to shame his children. I let him meet my dad incase I’m not home, my dad will know where I am (that was the first time my dad ever saw me with a man).
I had to travel to see my sister some months back and he went to tell my dad his intentions towards me without first talking to me. He even went as far as asking my dad to give him his contact so he can talk to him anytime but my dad said anything he wants to talk about that he should tell me and I’ll pass it to him. When my dad called to tell me, I was angry at him but I just told my dad that he shouldn’t think about it that we’re still getting to know each other. After I got back from my sister’s place, I found out he cheated because he was a little withdrawn. He asked for forgiveness and I let it pass. This man has been making plans for both of us and I couldn’t in my wildest imagination think that he was married. We spend most weekends together and he never receives any suspicious calls. I saw a prewedding picture from 2018 online on Sunday, at first I was confused. A lot of questions keep running through my head. I couldn’t even control myself, I prayed it should be a lie. If this guy is really married, where’s the wife? Is she out of the country? Even if they ain’t together, why didn’t he tell me? These were the questions I couldn’t answer.
I called him and asked him where he was, he said he was at home. I went to his place, I asked him why he didn’t tell me he was married. He asked me where I got that from. My strength failed me, I couldn’t stand it. When I was leaving he said he wanted to explain the situation but I couldn’t handle it and I left. Since I got back home, I didn’t take his calls till yesterday when I was with my dad and he said he wants to see me so he’ll tell me everything. I told him if he wants to say anything, he should come to the house.
My dad noticed that I’ve been unhappy the past few days and he called me this morning to ask me, I had no option than to open up to my dad.
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This one was madly in “love” with a married man but her liver failed her.
I don’t know if this was dating but I just want to share it because I liked him then and according to him, he liked me too.
I had just left a relationship, so I was available and as they say, “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop”. It was just a Hi, then I replied and that was it. We talked like we’ve known each other for ages. We started talking everyday. I was rounding up final year project at the time. I enjoyed talking with him because we talked almost about anything and everything. He’s a really smart person and that’s my weakest link, he caught me (I love people who are intellectually sound and have integrity, I will just fall yakata). I’m not talking about just being book smart.
We talked in the mornings, afternoons and evenings. Plenty of video calls on messenger,
WhatsApp, normal calls, chats. I will even sleep in the evening because I knew the night was for me and my crush. It was during one of those talks that I asked if he was married and he said yes, with two kids even (Ah, I was already fantasizing about our wedding day).
I tried to start ignoring him but it didn’t work. It was difficult, I was used to his company. I didn’t have a boyfriend, no form of distractions whatsoever. I wasn’t working too. I was just home. Wake up, bath, eat and be on the phone with “my man” lol. I had all the time.
Lockdown came and I travelled home. You know, joblessness increased and I almost couldn’t do without talking to this man. I almost forgot he was married. He occupied my thoughts whenever we were not talking, this is the point where I know I’m in love with someone. I had to tell me the truth.
I’ve not been in many relationships but I’ve never dreamt about my partner. One night I dreamt about him, unusual. I told him about it but not the content of the dream. Maybe it was normal to him, but it wasn’t for me. Then it happened the second time. This time, I had to scold myself. I’m that person that won’t believe if you told me I’ll have anything at all to do with a married man.
I started ignoring his calls, not returning them. Excuses would follow. I didn’t let chats and phone calls exceed greetings. Communication reduced drastically. I was glad that I was doing it. The lockdown ended and he would call that he was coming to town (I was in the state’s capital while he lived in a city, 2 hours away) and l’lI give excuses not to meet him. This happened several times and he would complain but I just wanted to run and not be rude.
He relocated from our state in 2021 and we coincidentally found ourselves in the same city again, because I relocated after camp. He found out and was pushing for things to go overboard but I had made up my mind. Many times he wanted us to travel together whenever I wanted to go home, but I didn’t want to meet him because I didn’t want to start something I can’t finish.
He always told me I was running away from him and I didn’t deny because I was intentionally running. I also noticed he’s not a regular cheat or so I think, but I’m always scared of married men. Karma is a big bitch, plus I can’t be the reason another woman is not happy. This is not to say my partner will not cheat but I don’t want to think I did it to someone else.
I told my cousin about him and God knows if he was single, marrying him would’ve been unstoppable. And no, not his money as I never took shishi from him and he never offered shishi. I just liked his person. While I enjoyed his company at that time, I wish all of this did not happened. I wish I had stuck to my L the moment I discovered he was married. Still, I’m glad I fled at the end of the day. It started on phone and ended there.
Married men have always been a no for me and now, I ask as soon as I notice any possibility of me catching any feelings.
