Read and enjoy!
Chris, 26
My most embarrassing moment was the day my girlfriend’s ex beat the hell out of me. I went out on a date with my girlfriend, we were eating when I noticed her mood changed. I wondered why, until her ex showed up at our table. I haven’t even let him say a word before I landed a dirty slap on his face for coming to ruin the mood for us. The next thing was that I couldn’t feel my legs touching the ground. He carried me and threw me on the floor gbam.
I gathered all my energy and went for him again. He punched my face and I became teary, my nose was pumping blood and one of my eyes was shut close already. My girlfriend started screaming at a spot without even attempting to rescue me. The last thing I could remember that day was that he carried me up again and I woke up on a hospital bed. I left the stupid girl for him.
Dolapo, 27
I can never forget the day I was traveling to Lagos from Ibadan. I took a bike and headed to Lagos bus park from my house. We were close to the park so I opened my traveling bag to remove my purse. That’s how one of my G-strings flew out of the bag and the breeze started making it fly from one place to the other in Iwo road.
It finally landed in the middle of the road. I wanted to look away at first but I was scared that ritualists might pick it up and I don’t pray to end up vomiting currency. I was more embarrassed when someone shouted, “pata olokun l’enwo (na rope pant you dey wear)”. Some were saying I wanted to go and do hookup. I ran towards my pant and squeezed it in my palm shamefully.
Flakky, 27
I had dated Lanre for 3 years before we broke up. His parent knew me and I was close to some of his friends as well. A month after our breakup, Lanre’s birthday came up and I thought it would be an opportunity for us to reconcile. I bought some of his favorite gifts and took a ride to his place. I entered his compound and saw that he was throwing a birthday party. A lady angrily ran inside when she saw me and Lanre followed her.
This caught people’s attention and all eyes were on me. The stupid DJ started shouting, “we no want Delilah here ooo, if you no bring boyfriend come here, you no fit take pesin boyfriend go oo”. One of Lanre’s friends that used to call me “our wife” rushed to meet me and told me I have to leave that Lanre’s girlfriend is not happy that I showed up. He even told me to leave the gifts I brought for lanre with him so he would give him later on my behalf. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me that day. I was so embarrassed.
Adekunle, 29
If someone had told me my penis would embarrass me one day, I would have denied it. I was chatting with a lady on Instagram and we decided to meet at a hotel in Asaba. I promised to shift her womb when we meet, little did I know that she would shift my ego instead. On D-day, we started with foreplay and then proceeded to start the real “match”. Comman see how my penis bent because I lost erection.
I sha tried to make myself hard again and penetrated. I lost my erection the second time after thrusting twice. Omo! E shock me! This girl insulted me sotey I regretted buying her food that day. The most embarrassing part about the whole thing was the fact that I knew she would tell her friends about what happened and even show them my pictures.
Fathia, 26
My most embarrassing moment has to be the day I stole a Chivita drink in a big supermarket. Due to the large size of the supermarket, I usually take any drink of my choice, drink it and throw the container somewhere before heading to the checkout counter. One day, I was very thirsty, so I ran into the supermarket to drink as usual. Since I didn’t see a smaller drink, I took a Chivita and drank about half of it.
I placed the remaining back in their fridge and proceeded to the checkout counter to pay for the #200 chin chin that I took. A staff of the supermarket approached me and asked if I paid for the Chivita I opened. That’s how I started speaking English to deny drinking any Chivita because people were looking at us and it was embarrassing. Las las, he brought out his phone and showed me a short video of when I was gulping the Chivita and how I returned it inside the fridge. I shamelessly paid, left there, and never went back.
Kuburat, 26
My most embarrassing moment was the day my ex-boyfriend chased me with his car in Oluyole at Ibadan. I and my ex-boyfriend broke up last year because I met someone else who was better than him financially. I was just walking by the roadside one Friday when I saw that a car was moving too close to me.
I started running away from the road but the car still followed. I flung my slippers and ran faster but this car won’t stop. He later parked and came down of the car with his friend. They were laughing while I was breathing heavily. I sent him curses via SMS later that day before I blocked him again.
Ridwan, 26
I had just finished buying food at a restaurant and a small boy approached me to beg for money. I gave him the 100 naira that I had left with me. I saw a mad man approaching me after the boy left, he was also stretching his hand to ask for money. He was moving closer so I walked faster too. He got really close and I had to run. That’s how the marathon started between me and a mad man on a Sunday morning at Ikotun.
Someone shouted, give him the food nah and I remember saying a silent curse for whoever it was because I was too hungry to let go. People were laughing and some were even recording me. A celeb like me that had about 25k followers on IG then. I ended up leaving the food for him and he backed out. My precious bread and beans (ewa agonyin to be precise).
Felix, 25
Early last year, I traveled to Ogbomoso to sort out some things in my school. I had severe stomach pain before I left school but I didn’t bother to do anything about it because I thought I could endure it and sort myself out once I get to Lagos that same day. I got hungry so I bought Oyo bread and Akara to eat. I finished eating and my stomach started making this weird noise. I let out a silent fart with a very strong odor that distorted the atmosphere of the bus, other passengers started complaining but I wasn’t bothered since I expected them to stop once the odor fades in a few seconds.
After like 20 mins, the odor was still strong and people still kept complaining. I later realized that I had shlt in my pant when I farted. The driver stopped and asked everyone to come down to find out what was smelling. Mothers with babies were forced to check if their babies pooed. I quickly used my handkerchief to wipe my wet seat when I stood up but it didn’t work because flies were around it. Everyone knew I was the one already. I humbled myself and apologised to everyone before I entered the bush to poo properly and cleaned myself.
Martin, 28
My friend introduced me to an organization that gives people loan. I took out some money which I needed for something urgently. Due to some issues at my place of work, I suspended making payment for 3 weeks. That’s how the loan app started sending shame messages to all my contacts, including all my exes that l’ve been trying to impress all my life.
Since I close earlier on Fridays, I planned to go to their office to settle things amicably. I met them at my office entrance with my pictures, some pictures even had debtors written on my face with a red ink. E weak me! I did everything to pay them up a week after. Taking a loan is something I will never repeat till I die. I don learn!
