Read and enjoy!
Sade, 28
One day, I was coming back from work around 8 pm. An old man sat beside me in the danfo I boarded, he placed a small yellow keg in between us on the seat. A few minutes later, he brought down the yellow keg, opened it, and peed inside. He finished and put the keg back in between us.
I felt the warmth of the urine from the keg and stopped the driver immediately. I alighted even though it was raining heavily. I trekked for more than 20 minutes under the rain before I got another vehicle to board. That was the day I believed that we have a very high percentage of mad people in this country.
John, 25
I once sat down beside a guy and a lady that were kissing inside a danfo, French kiss ooo. I was feeling so uncomfortable, so I tapped the husband/boyfriend who was seating beside me. They both looked at me and laughed out loud then pointed at the camera to show me they were just pranking people to see their reaction.
I didn’t understand what they meant by that until I heard the person holding the camera say, thanks for featuring. I quickly begged them not to post it because I was sweating like a xmas goat inside the danfo. A spec like me that should be receiving AC in a bolt ride.
Tonia, 21
I had malaria so I went to the hospital. I boarded a danfo when I was heading back home. I was so weak that I had to rest my head on the window side. I suddenly perceived a foul-smelling odor which made me throw up on the bus. Surprisingly, the conductor and driver were so considerate, they gave me water and waited till I cleaned up before they continued the journey.
I heard a woman whisper to another woman at the back saying, ‘maybe she don get belle’. The other woman replied, ‘or maybe she do abort!on because children of nowadays fit commot pregnancy 7 times in a month’. That’s how one of them tapped me and said ‘if it is pregnancy, please keep it because God is against abortion’. I wish I had the strength and the guts to sIap her so that she can be picking her dirty black teeth on the floor.
Afis, 30
The danfo I boarded was hit by a private car, the driver of the car refused to apologize and was still speaking plenty of grammar. That’s how the danfo driver vexed, took off his clothes, and went to fight the man. The incident caused a lot of traffic, I was angry but I couldn’t come down because I had paid and I didn’t have cash with me.
Long story short, our driver came back to us with blood in his mouth and a shaky voice. He asked all the guys in the danfo to come down and beat the private car driver or else we won’t continue the journey with him. Abeg wetin be my own? Na my battle? While others were asking him for a refund, I alighted, used the Pos, and took a bike straight home. I no want any drama that would cause me to spend the night in a Nigerian cell.
Ezekiel, 26
I took a danfo on my way back from work. I was so hungry so I brought out the fried fish I bought to eat with bread. The lady that sat beside me was peeking at me while I was eating. A few minutes later, she whispered into my ears asking if she could have some fish too. I quickly said yes without hesitating even though I found it really weird.
That’s how this lady dipped her hand inside my fish nylon and took the 2 biggest fish tail, leaving me with the head and one middle. She finished eating hers and rubbed the oil on her wig. I got to my destination, alighted and took a bike straight to my pastor’s house before somebody will steal the destiny I’m just managing.
Mide, 25
It was raining in Lagos on this day and it was very difficult to get a vehicle. An empty danfo arrived, come and see how people were climbing on top of one another to enter. I was the first person to find my way in, so I sat at the back After we’ve all entered, the conductor said we will be paying #600 each instead of #200 because of the weather. Haba!!!
None of the passengers even begged him, instead, they abused and cursed him for letting them go through the stress of entering in the first place. I was quiet while I waited for everyone else to alight so I could come down from the back. Only for that nonsense conductor to give me a thunderous slap without any offense and zoomed off. I couldn’t hear with that part of my ear for 3 days.
Jaiye, 26
I was going to meet my married boyfriend at the hotel. He had sent me N20k for bolt but I decided to take danfo to save money. In the danfo, I had my air pods on and was chewing gum. That’s how a lady in her 30s sitting beside me asked me to stop because the sound of the gum was disturbing her. I told her to shut up and mind her business. I sha continued chewing my gum.
She then told the driver to park and dragged me out. I was so ready to f!ght her toe-to-toe until I heard waiiiiii on my back. Ah, koboko!!! That was when my eyes opened and saw that she was wearing a soldier’s uniform. This woman beat me thoroughly with koboko before I started doing frog jump. I had to tell my man that something else came up so I couldn’t come.
Emeka, 23
I was already inside the danfo when two men that seemed to be quarreling dragged each other in. They weren’t even exchanging words, but you could tell they weren’t in a good term because one held the other by his cloth. The first question that came to my mind was, why would the conductor allow people that are fighting inside the danfo?
We later heard from the man that held the other’s cloth that the man stole his penis and he wants to collect it back from him. Ahhhh! Penis keh? Do you mean blockus? The Odogwu under your knicker? How come? He further explained that the man rubbed his head and he couldn’t feel his penis again. Ahhhhh! The driver dropped them off to solve their issues because it was inconveniencing other passengers. But abeg, is it possible to steal someone’s penis? How?
