Read and enjoy!
Olaitan, 25
I used to find it very funny whenever people talk about trying to flush the toilet in their man’s place and it won’t go until it happened to me one day. This happened the first time I ever visited my boyfriend at his apartment in Ajah. I had been holding the shit since I finished eating the food he served me around noon. At 5 pm, I couldn’t hold it so I decided to use the toilet. Only for me to finish and the toilet refused to flush. The size of my shit was actually the problem.
The most annoying thing was that it takes so long before the flush tank gets filled up after using it once and there was no bucket to fetch. After about the 7th time of flushing, he came around to check if everything was ok because I was already spending forever there. I took the tissue paper in the toilet and rolled it up till it got thick, I picked up my shit that refused to flush and dropped it inside the WC flush tank with the tissue and left. He later found out and confronted me a week after, I was so ashamed. We are still dating though.
Jare, 26
I saw this girl looking at me when I entered the mall. I found her really attractive so I thought I should try and get to know her. She finished buying things upstairs and was about to take the lift down. I had never used a lift before in my entire life but I thought it would be somehow if I use the staircase when almost everyone, including the girl, used the lift.
My foot slipped as soon as I placed it on the lift, I fell and somersaulted till I reached the bottom floor. This girl came to meet me while I was trying to get up and said jokingly, “you are a superhero because you reached the bottom floor before everyone else on the lift”. I shamefully stood up and faked a smile at her dry joke. Nigerian girls are just wicked anyhow. I hate them passionately.
Moji, 32
I ordered a 12-inch-long thick and veiny dildo from an online store. After receiving it, I opened it to see what I ordered but forgot to put it back in its pack when I was done. I only dropped it in my bag and I headed home. The dildo fell right in the middle of the road when I crossed.
I didn’t even know at first until I heard people shouting and laughing. I looked back to see my poor dildo that I planned to ride hard that night lying helplessly. One young lady selling pure water by the roadside took it up and came to give me. Even though it was so obvious that it fell from my bag, I denied owing it and told her to return it to wherever she was bringing it from.
Rebecca, 28
I had not seen my secondary school bestie for about 8 years due to the long distance between us. I lost her contact a year after we graduated so we had not been talking. I saw her at the mall last year December, she hasn’t really changed as much so it was very easy for me to recognize her. I approached her with the hugest smile on my face while my hands were widely opened to give her the warmest hug. I saw that she was not showing any excitement but rather looked like someone wey no send my papa.
I got closer to hug her but she dodged it and I fell. I stood up, dusted my clothe, screamed her name, and tried to hug her again. She swerved and I almost fell again. She then whispered in my ear and I quote, “don’t embarrass me, I do not know you”
Tonia, 29
I had been talking to Leke on Twitter for about 9 months before we finally decided to meet. I ate a lot of food at the Chinese restaurant where we had lunch and my stomach started misbehaving after the food. We quickly headed to our hotel because I felt like I wanted to purge. My body was a little settled after I defecated three times. So we started going at what brought us to the hotel, sex.
We wanted to try out everything we discussed during our sexting a night before. The kisses and oral s*x were all good until this guy started banging me from behind. The worst thing happened at a point while I was busy receiving doggy. I released a thunderous fart and shit followed. He stopped thrusting and rushed to clean himself up. Even though he acted like everything was fine that day, he has neither called nor pick my calls since then.
Abiola, 32
I went to my friend’s wedding with my new girlfriend last year. I introduced her to all my friends which was something I later regretted. The groom’s friends were called to dance with him and spray him money. On the dance floor, I saw my girlfriend picking the money we were spraying, in fact, she was so focused. I tried communicating with her with all kinds of body language to stop embarrassing me.
Sadly, she kept jumping around as the money was flying and was sweating profusely. She came to me and dumped some of the money she picked inside my pocket because her bag was full which got me extremely pissed. My other friends noticed and I had no choice but to leave the dance floor. That day was the last day I talked to her.
Richard, 35
I had dated my girlfriend for 5 years plus and I wanted to take things to another level with her. One day, I took her to a 5-star restaurant to ask for her hands in marriage. I had already planned with the staff at the restaurant so that every attention would be on us and the photographer would be able to capture the beautiful moment.
My girlfriend (now ex) didn’t only reject the ring but also threw it away. I was embarrassed but I had to crawl to pick it up because I spent thousands of dollars on it. Most of the people at the restaurant burst into laughter. Even though they sell my favorite food at that restaurant, I haven’t been there in 2 years.
Jessica, 24
I was crushing on this guy I saw on Instagram, I followed him with the hope that he would follow back. Whenever he posts a new picture, I’d like and comment so that he would notice me. I decided to stop doing that because it didn’t work. One of my friends advised me to keep following and unfollowing him so that he would eventually follow back.
That’s how I took her advice o. After the 6th time, I couldn’t find his page anymore. I used my business page to check and I realized that he has blocked me. I checked his story and he wrote, “I will block your ass if you keep following and unfollowing me, don’t bring your madness to my page”. I was so ashamed. I wouldn’t even be crushing on him in the first place if I knew his mouth is not good. How ridiculous, a whole spec like me!
