Read and enjoy!
Jamiu, 24
I boarded a danfo one morning, I looked through the front mirror and noticed that the driver was dozing off while driving, I quickly concluded that that was just his natural eyes because I didn’t believe someone could sleep while driving. It was when he hit his head against the steering other passengers noticed too. The woman sitting beside him said ‘baba una dey sleep?’ and he replied ‘na your papa dey sleep’.
Other passengers started complaining too, that’s how this man parked and said he’s not going again because we are disturbing him without noise. He sha said we should all come down in the middle of the journey. We asked for a refund but this man didn’t give us. Since most of the people in the danfo were going to work, we had to leave and get another bus. However, we all made sure we contributed cursEs for him before we left one after the other.
Toyin, 23
This happened to me when I visited Ibadan last year. I entered a danfo going to bodija. The driver was speeding so much that the elderly women in the danfo were shouting, but this man told them to keep quiet or come and take the steering from him. Then I politely told the man that we are not in a hurry that he should just slow down a bit. He responded that, if you are not in a hurry, I am in a hurry.
The speed got so much that I thought that day would be the end of me on this earth. It was when someone wanted to stop we realized that the danfo doesn’t even have a break. We just dey go dey go until one big rock finally stopped us. The danfo almost tumbled. How will you put a vehicle that doesn’t have a break on the road for God’s sake? This man still collected money from us after risking our lives.
Caleb, 28
I misplaced my iPhone when I was struggling to enter a danfo, I called the driver’s attention to it and he told me we would search everywhere at the last bus stop since all the passengers would be alighting there. The search began at the last bus stop.
That’s how one woman that looks like SU started displaying madness. The driver dragged her back and said ‘bring your bag first, you can run mad later’. This woman had out my phone inside a black polybag. If not because I begged for, the driver almost stripped her naked.
Kokun, 30
I had just moved to Lagos after getting employed by one marketing agency company. My boss had been complaining about my lateness at work, so I decided to make a change one Monday morning. The conductor asked only people who have change to enter. I had a very good laugh watching how the conductor and the passengers were fighting over change, I even recorded some of them. It was time for me to pay and I realized that I only have #1050 with me.
My chest first did gbim gbim! I gathered all my courage as a man and gave 1k to him. He collected it without saying a word. I got down and asked for my #650 change but the driver zoomed off. That’s how I started chasing their bus, I didn’t run too much before traffic stopped them. The conductor got off and came at me. A lot of people interfered before he later gave me my change. The funny thing is that this man had change all along.
Andre, 35
My craziest experience in a danfo happened the day I was going out with my wife. I was sitting beside my wife and another guy was sitting in front of us. I noticed he was turning his neck to look at her from time to time which made me so uncomfortable. Despite seeing her with a man, this guy opened his dirty mouth to ask for my wife’s phone number when I was busy paying for our transport fare.
I was extremely angry that I almost punched him in the face. I asked if he was so blind to notice that we are couples, he then replied, ‘you think say na only you dey chop ham before?’ We fought sotey we both slept in the police station for three good days. There are so many mad people in this country, just have your car to avoid some of them abeg.
Akanni, 27
This incident happened to me last week Friday when I was going to work. I was very close to the office when I realized I didn’t take my wallet. I looked at everyone’s face on the bus to see if I could get someone to help me. Unfortunately, they all looked either tired or angry so I couldn’t even approach anyone to help me. I alighted and asked the man if he would collect transfer or I withdraw for him at POS.
He said ‘kilonjebe? (what is that?)’. He held my kaftan neck and dragged me back into the bus. This time, he made me sit on the hot and dirty part that ¡s behind the driver’s seat. He said we would work together throughout that day until someone comes to bail me. I later used a POS and he collected #500 instead of #200.
Mary, 22
I boarded a danfo from Ogbomoso to Oyo, we call it ‘soIe’ because I didn’t go to the main park to board it. This very chubby man sat beside me and was sweating profusely. I was still coping with the ‘aroma’ that was coming from his body, not until this man raised his arm and put it right behind my head.
His armpit was directly beside my face and I was perceiving this strong and horrible smell. I used my nose mask but it didn’t get any better. Everything got worse when this man started talking to me. You’d think they opened soak away. 0mo! I nearly died.
Kay, 26
I was at the back seat of this danfo, I put my head outside because I find it weirdly fun whenever the car is moving. The man in front of me spat and the breeze directed it to my face. I used my phone as a mirror and I saw this dark red spit smelling like shit and kola nut trailing down my face. I angrily took this man’s cap and used it to wipe my face.
He turned to me and started hitting me, I was trying not to beat an elderly person but I could die if I didn’t defend myself. The funny thing was that throughout the time we were fighting, the driver didn’t stop driving but he kept saying we shouldn’t kill ourselves inside his danfo. Las las, I found out that the person that spat was the old woman in front of him but she was quiet throughout. I couldn’t even confront her because I don’t want to turn to a goat.
