This lady (27) shares how she accepted the proposal of a man (34) she doesn’t love. After 3 years of dating she still can’t fall in love with him, she hopes she will love him maybe after they get married and have sex.
The Story
You always say women are more loyal to their feelings than sacrifices. Doesn’t that make her only human or does it make her selfish? I said accepted a man I did not love with the hopes that I will grow to love him as time goes by. It has been almost three years, yet I realize that I am not in love. I have co-habited with him for weeks, we have no issues, he takes care of me to an extent and he has gone through some financial sacrifices for me. Also, I have tried to not be only at the receiving end. For his birthday and valentine, I have always given him gifts, I cook, clean and wash.
We met in church and the church people are aware of both of us, there is no intimacy. I’m not cheating and I know he is not too. I know his password and I check his phone sometimes so I am sure. Now he wants to settle down but I am scared I may regret marrying someone I am not physically attracted to. I’m thinking maybe when we consummate the marriage I will love him. I accepted him despite his looks, he is not so intelligent and doesn’t speak so well. Now that marriage is approaching and I am regretting why I said yes to him in the first place. If I leave now after all his sacrifices, I would feel ungrateful.
I met someone I like and connected with, I can’t remember laughing like that with this guy I want to marry or talking for long hours with him and all. But if I leave, it’s as if I’m loyal to my feelings. I have said no to several men because I am in a relationship.
He is an orphan and experienced a lot of pain and rejection, I feel bad to do the same. He has done nothing wrong to me. I have done everything I can, I’m a staunch believer of scriptures and I have prayed to God to let me love him but for three years now it’s not working. I keep getting irritated by little little things which affects my tone when I speak some times, it leaves me in awe. I’m never rude to anyone. This was my mistake when he met me, I didn’t check if I liked him, I just wanted to know the will of God. Will of God? I don’t know and love? I’m not in love.
I’m very scared to commit but I don’t know if I will be making a mistake if I leave all because of my feelings. Someone said love is a choice. I have chosen to love him for three years in my own way but it’s not working. Do you think my marriage can work without the feelings? Do you think if maybe we have sex I will be able to open my heart to him (I am a virgin)? I just want a happy home but I am scared. I’m 27 and he is 34. Thank you.
