She lost her v!rginity at 12, she has been been sleeping with different men for money to provide for her parents and siblings. Now she is married and her parents wants her to continue her previous life.
The Story
I’m first in the family of 7. Right from childhood I’ve always worked extra and did things I’m not proud of just to provide for my family. My dad’s business crashed when I was 10, my mum did little business like selling food, frying of akara to help but it was not helping because of the number of kids my parents had. I lost my virginity at 12 to a man my mum introduced me to because he suggested that it’s better she brings someone to know his house so that whenever he wants to give us money or foodstuff the person can come instead of her as people will start to talk if they saw her often with him.
I was 11 then and in jss2, he took over paying my fees and was helping. He waited till when I started seeing my period and started disturbing for sex. I said no but he threatened to stop helping my family including paying my fees and I gave in. The day my mum knew, she was hurt but couldn’t do anything. By the time I was 15 and done with secondary school he started ignoring me.
A man close to me introduced me to a married man when I was 15, he didn’t touch me till when I was 16, he assisted with money which I usually took home for food and fees for my siblings. By 19, I was with another married man who rented an apartment for me, sent money and foodstuffs to my family house. My mum and siblings were all aware. Whenever I have issues with this man my family will literally fight me to make sure I settle with him so they don’t lose what they are benefitting. I was working then but salary was really small and couldn’t do much, I later left him cause he became violent towards me. A lot of other issues in between but when all I did backfired was when I wanted to marry my husband.
Before I met my husband, I was dating 2 married men that were footing my bills and my family’s bills. I provided everything they needed in the capacity that I could, so when my husband came and they noticed that he wasn’t rich, problem started. Hatred from my parents and siblings. I called my mum one day and told her that please they should try to understand that things won’t be the way it used to as most of the money I’ve been spending have been from the married men I was dating and it can’t continue now cause I can’t cheat on my husband and they will have to endure for now till things become better. She still didn’t understand and that’s why they are still angry at my husband and wishing that my marriage doesn’t work.
It’s really hard for us now but all my parents do is tell whoever that cares to listen that I no longer send them money despite knowing my predicament, all they want is for me to be sending them money. My brother told me that 5 of then contributed 12k each to send to my parents for Christmas, he even made his own 20k but my parents still called to say that they are waiting for bag of rice and Christmas goat from me. I literally had to shout on my dad when he said that and asked him if he is not aware that I’m selling some of my things to clear debts but they don’t care. All they care about is that I should send money without asking how I’ve been fairing. My uncle called yesterday and said my dad said that I don’t care about them anymore or send money to them again, that I should please do. I was not in the mood to talk or argue as one of the ladies I was owing was in my house creating a scene.
My advice to anyone who cares to listen is to never marry first born daughters who are breadwinners most especially if you are not financially buoyant because all the family will see you as an enemy.
