Read and enjoy!
Bisola, 25
After exchanging Val gifts with my boyfriend through a courier company because we don’t live in the same state, I traveled to his state to surprise him. I got there around 8 pm and saw his car parked outside. I tried calling him several times to tell him I was at the door but he didn’t pick up my calls and my messages were ignored too. At around 11 pm, I was very tired and angry, I called his friends and the two of them lied that he was with them.
It was already 12 am I didn’t have anywhere else to go and every Uber driver I contacted to take me to a hotel complained that it was too late. I had to sleep at his door till the following morning. Cold almost killed me before morning, I was gnashing my teeth all in the name of love. I later found out he was inside all through the night with another lady. It shall not be well with you Adio.
Lanre, 26
What I experienced on Monday is something I don’t ever pray to experience again in my life. I accidentally wore a white and red outfit on Val. I notice there were so many eyes on me which was very unusual but I was lowkey blushing because I thought I looked finer that day. I was by the roadside at Ikeja when someone in a passing vehicle shouted, “omo olodun (celebrant)”. That was when I remember it was val and I wore a white and red outfit. I wanted to rush back home but trust Lagos traffic to humble you.
I was so embarrassed when some group of bike men started hailing me and asking for my girlfriend. I got to work and it got worse. Even my oga that always keeps a straight face laughed so hard when he saw me. Despite the fact that we closed at 5 pm, I stayed with the office gateman till 8 pm so that it will be dark before I head home.
Faith, 21
I was hell-bent on not having sex till my wedding night. Unfortunately, I had my first sex on Valentine’s Day because my boyfriend told me that’s the only gift he would appreciate from me. It was after we had sex I saw a conversation he had with his friend on how he was so excited about finally deflowering me despite all my shakara.
According to his friend’s reply, I found out he was dating two other girls and they planned on having sex that same day. He denied everything, including the very obvious ones. I cried sotey, my eyes wan corn mot. I wish I could collect my virginity back from him.
Naomi, 25
I had been dating a guy I met on Instagram for a year. We decided to meet for the first time in Lagos on Valentine’s Day, so I took a flight down and lodged in a hotel on Sunday. On Monday, we planned to have our date at a fancy restaurant in Lekki. I had already gotten to the restaurant and was waiting for him to arrive. I ordered a wine and was sipping while I waited.
That’s how “something” that looked like what I was waiting for showed up. This guy is extremely shorrtttt! I felt so annoyed and disappointed. Although he doesn’t look very tall in his pictures, I was satisfied with the height I saw online before I met him. I’m just 5’5, now imagine me looking at the middle of a guy’s head with ease. I blocked him everywhere the following day. No be me go date an ancestor. I no wan born dwarves.
Anu, 27
I decided to shoot my shot on Valentine’s Day. I saw this guy that looks like a perfect shuga daddy sitting alone at the restaurant so I went to join him. He had just ordered food and was eating. We exchanged pleasantries and I called the waiter to bring my food too. This guy didn’t want to talk to me, he just kept looking outside and I asked if something was wrong.
Only for someone to pull me by my wig and dragged me to another empty seat. I wanted to fight back but this woman looked like someone that could kee me. He is the man’s wife, she had 4 children with her. That was how I escaped a bullet o. They argued till they left the restaurant. The other guy I went to meet told me he’s in a serious relationship. I’ll never talk to any guy first again in my life.
Jola, 23
I went to a game center with my boyfriend on Val. A guy approached me to ask for my phone number, I told him ‘no’ but he was being stubborn thinking he could convince me. My boyfriend went at him and started punching him. That’s how I heard gbam on the floor, this guy collapsed. Eeewwweeeehhhhhh! Wahala!
People surrounded us and they started pouring water on him to regain his consciousness. They later rushed him to the hospital and we had to go with him to settle the bills. His family members arrived with four policemen. Las las, I slept in the cell with the love of my life on Valentine’s Day.
Honey, 26
I cried on Valentine’s day a lot that my eyes turned pepper red. It was a trumpet sound that woke me. I stretched my neck from my window to see what was going on and saw a ‘Goliath’ money cake. It was so tall that I wondered how long it would take for the lady to finish counting them. As
if that was not enough, come and see plenty of wigs, shoes, and bags that she received too.
The 2nd surprise company arrived and another lady received a brand new car from her fiancé. What did I not see that day? Another one got engaged and also received plenty of gifts. I can’t even start talking about the ones I saw online. The saddest part is that I’m finer than all of them and I didn’t receive shi shi on Val. I am now convinced that I am a spoon, a wooden spoon to be precise.
Asabi, 24
I was kidnapped on Valentine’s day, e remain small make I die. At noon, I dressed up like I was going on a date but deep down, I was looking for someone to hang out with, which I believe I would find easily as a fine babe. One very fine guy driving a white Benz parked in front of me. I didn’t even hesitate to enter because it felt like a dream come true. We gist for some time before I slept off. I woke up to realize that he had driven for over 2 hours.
I turned on my Google map only to realize that I was already at Sagamu in Ogun state. That’s how I started crying and screaming. This guy didn’t even react but drove faster instead. I gave up and started looking like a mumu while silently saying my last prayer. He suddenly stopped, kissed my forehead, and told me to get out of his car. I trekked so much before one Hajia helped me. I regretted leaving my bed at all.
Damilare, 27
I went on a date with a girl on Val. We got to the restaurant and the first thing she ordered was 30k worth of steak and wine while I ordered just spaghetti with turkey of just 11k. That was the beginning of my regret for bringing her to a fancy restaurant. Although I was smiling, I was looking at her with so much disgust while she was tearing the meat. She finished it and asked ¡f she could taste my spag, I agreed.
She liked it and called the waiter to bring her what I ordered with an extra drink of 7k. I wanted to pay and leave immediately but she said we should wait to talk a little. In the middle of the conversation, she said she wanted something to snack on so she bought 15k small chops with another 7k drink. We finished eating and she ordered takeaway even though we were going to a hotel. We got to the hotel and couldn’t even do anything because she was purging like a leaking pipe all through the night.
